Writing is one of my favorite creative outlets but I’ve had a bit of a block this month or maybe for a couple months. I have been overanalyzing a lot and giving more weight to certain emotions or behaviors than they should have. I was too in my head to realize that a big chunk of my writer’s block was actually that I was too in my head. Isn’t it funny how we can be our biggest obstacles without realizing it? Are there any areas of your life where you feel stuck? Is it possible that the person standing in your way is you?

I love reflecting but sometimes I go too deep into my mind and it takes some time to bring myself back into the real world. There are other ways in which we avoid being in the moment. A few ways that come to mind are social media, cell phones, email, and television. There are plenty more, I’m sure something that’s not on this list comes to mind for you. The things I listed are not inherently bad but how we use them is what dictates the type of impact they have on our lives. Are you avoiding a tough decision by scrolling through social media apps? Are you avoiding processing emotions surrounding a recent trauma by mindlessly binging shows on Netflix? What is your ‘go to’ when you’re in avoidance mode?

When I’m reflecting to process an emotion or a recent event and get it out of my system, that has a positive impact on my life. When I’m reflecting on what a horrible mother I am, the impact on my mental health is horrendous. During the latter, I’m perseverating on a thought that’s untrue. Thinking something doesn’t make it real, as Dr. Nicole LePera says “Thoughts happen to us. They don’t mean anything about who we are.” When we’re missing family or intentionally catching up celebrity gossip via social media the impact is neutral or positive. When we’re mindlessly scrolling through social media to numb our emotions, the impact is devastating. Instead of allowing uncomfortable emotions to move through us, we’re forcing ourselves to stay stuck in an unhealthy emotional state.

At times I’m not really sure how to get unstuck. I’m learning to look at being stuck as ocean waves. I’m learning to float instead of trying to swim against the waves moving me along. I may go through brief periods where I feel like I finally got out of the funk but then before I know it I feel stuck again. It’s hard to find my writing flow when I feel this way. What I’ve started doing is setting a 5 minute timer and writing even if I’m just rambling. Writing is important to me and I am hoping that I can make sense of my rambling once I have several thoughts down. What activity do you cherish and have a hard time pursuing when you feel stuck? What can you do to pursue it anyway?

I’m learning that for me there are two different kinds of stuck. The normal funk where I just have to float along the waves and then there is the I want to do everything perfectly kind of paralysis. There are times when I get stuck or avoid participating in something I want to pursue because the stars aren’t perfectly aligned. I’m learning to recognize that during these times, I am my own obstacle. The perfectionistic tendencies are what keep me stuck when things aren’t just right. Writing 5 minutes with my little timer, regardless of how well and where (phone, laptop, notebook, etc.) I write, is an easy way to break away from needing things to be just right. Do you need to float along the waves or do you need to break free from perfectionism forceful grasp? If it’s the latter, how can you break free? If it’s the former, what can you do to resist the urge to swim against the current? I invite you to get out of your head and try incorporating this week’s ‘fruits of inspiration & grace’ (FiGs) into your life with me.

I am grateful that I have this space where I can process life as I go. I appreciate that you took the time to join me here. Accepting what is and releasing the need to strive for perfection are two ways to get unstuck. Being in a funk is a normal part of life. No one feels happy, calm, and just right every moment of every day. It’s ok to feel blah. Feeling that way doesn’t mean that you can’t engage in activities that you find meaningful. You deserve self-love, self-compassion, and self-acceptance as you are right in this moment. If you truly wish to extend love, compassion, and acceptance to your loved ones, you must begin with yourself first. You are the person who you’re spending every day of your life with. If you would like to receive a practice scenario that expands on this reflection’s 4 ‘fruits of inspiration and grace’ (FiGs), you are invited to subscribe to the ‘FiG 4-1-1’ newsletter here or follow along on Instagram. For some questions related to the FiGs follow along on Twitter.